Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
