I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
