hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize
