woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
