come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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