I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
