Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
did you just send me my own nude
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
