Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I can feel your judgement through the phone
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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