i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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