She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
