jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
