he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
