Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I just gift wrapped bread.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Im just a social blackout drinker.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
