I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
