Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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