Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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