belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
