I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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