when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize