i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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