She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
