All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
