Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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