We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Less talking, more tequila
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
