YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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