can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
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