theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
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