PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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