Yo dont text me then not text me
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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