We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
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