You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
