arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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