Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
