not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
