It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
