I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
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