If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Randomize
