Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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