I think my vagina is haunted
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
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