This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
