nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
