You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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