Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize