the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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