Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Where are you guys?
Drunk
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