the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
