What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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