Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
