I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
