haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
At least life still wants to fuck me.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Randomize
