your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
