i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I think your dad took our porno
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
