We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I just googled if crying burns calories
you inspire me to be a worse person
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
