god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Randomize