I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
