I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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