So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
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