hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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