I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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