sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
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