It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
