I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
