So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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