Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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