guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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