the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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